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Psychologist Henry Cloud tells a story that speaks to every man: Henry led a group for inpatients at a hospital who were struggling with life issues. One of the members of the group was a pastor we'll call Joe. His deal was a sexual addiction he had wrestled with for years. He had confessed and prayed over and over through the years, but he wasn't able to break it. Finally his desperation and guilt were so great he checked himself into the hospital for help. Going to this group was a part of his program. One morning a nurse told Henry that Joe wasn't coming to the group that day. Henry went to talk with him and discovered that Joe had suffered a relapse the night before. Henry talked him into coming. Members of the group asked Joe if he was okay. He said yes, but it was not too convincing. During previous sessions, Joe had mostly listened to other group members. He was comfortable helping to carry burdens for other people; he still didn't want to show much about his own. This morning, though, Henry left him no choice. Slowly, painfully, Joe began to allow others to see his sense of shame and failure. He spoke to them about years of guilt: standing in the pulpit and being terrified that someone might have seen him where he shouldn't have been the night before; claiming to speak for God when he was the biggest hypocrite in the congregation. And yet, for all the pain his behavior caused him, he couldn't stop. Joe could barely choke out the words. As he told his story, he stared at the floor; he could not bring himself to look anyone in the face. "Look up at the group," Henry told him. "I can't, I'm too ashamed." "Look up at the group. I want you to look into the eyes of the people listening to you. You must do this." Fearfully, this broken man raised his head. He looked around the circle, and every pair of eyes looking back at him was filled with tears. Every heart ached with pain for his anguish. There was no imputing share, no condemnation, just compassion. For the first time in his life, Joe was not alone with the brokenness that had paralyzed and crippled his soul for so long. Finally, a few people saw his deformity, yet still chose to be his friends. They carried him to the place of healing where he could never go on his own. In that moment, a man who had taught on grace for so long finally tasted it, and it broke him. He wept like a child. He began to hear the words that were spoken to another crippled soul so long ago: "Child, your sins are forgiven." It's very easy to relate to Joe. Our deal may or may not be sexual addition, but we guys all have one or two thorns that hinder the abundant life. More times than not God provides our healing within relationships that act as mirrors for God's grace and truth. God healed Joe through this group of men. How about you? Is there a thorn that needs removing? Is there one or two guys that can help you clean up some bad habits? We can not do it alone men. God made us then said "it is not good for man to be alone". God intends for us to weave our lives together. The Bible calls this fellowship. Fellowship is experiencing life together. With our guys, we hear each other's stories (Revelation 12:11). We discover each other's strengths and weaknesses. We learn to walk with God together. That includes unselfish comforting and all the "one another" commands found in the New Testament. "Love one another", "Encourage one another", "Forgive one another" are but a few them. We pray for each other, we cover each other's backs. This small core fellowship is the essential ingredient for the Christian life. Jesus modeled it for us with the twelve. He lived in a little platoon, a small group of friends and allies. A true fellowship is something you have to fight for. You'll have to fight to get one and you will have to fight to keep it afloat. Believe me, you will fight. The enemy knows how powerful we become with these allies. He will come against you and your guys. Self-deception is Satan's lead weapon against us. He is the father of lies who knows, "A lie believed becomes a deception lived". The only way to combat this attack is with some close friends. When it comes to Men's groups, size matters: smaller is better. Every man needs to be involved in a small group. Hopefully this is through your local church, but if not, it must be hotly pursued within the body. This is where real community takes place. It's the book of acts all over again! Meeting, sharing and praying. Man of God we need brothers in arms who will fight for us. Someone who prays for you. A guy who loves you enough to read your face and ask, "you OK man"? One that fights for you, and even against you, for you. God made you to fellowship with a band of brothers, to walk with you on the mountaintops, and if need be, carry you through the valleys. I pray that you prayerfully pursue this as God directs you. God4me Men's Network is a National alliance of Churches and Men's groups systematically training and assisting men in their pursuit of significance and purpose. "Discipleship Boot camps" are forums to provide encouragement, instruction and fellowship for the transformed man. Anointed speakers help men replace the lies of the world with Biblical truth. Upbeat and practical topics such as "Brainwashed", "A Man's Wild Heart", "The Purpose-Driven Man", and "As a Man Thinketh" are presented in a user friendly environment where men are free to "hear and respond". Movie clips and skits are used expressing the practicality of the topics. Food is served for time in fellowship, and short interactive workshops create a dynamic effective arena for change in men. Please visit Invasion for up to date information on events. Additional Information: God4Me Articles Please Visit: God4Me.com |
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