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Thirty-two years ago, I sat like a Jewish prince as family looked on with both pride and confusion. Pride, because it was the time every thirteen-year-old boy celebrated his recognition into manhood through a Bar Mitzvah. Confusion because, sitting to the right, my best friend did not have the Jewish look they were used to. He was African American. Philip was my best friend growing up. He bragged a lot, but boy, did we have fun. We talked about everything from when the world would end (he was wrong twice) to his frustration dealing with racism. I remember him sharing terrible experiences that today would get people jailed. Time after time he would bring his pain to me as I would try to dilute his trials, saying, "Don't worry about it, they're ignorant." More than sympathy Philip sought my understanding, as he would say, "You'll never understand." I dismissed his pain, looking through the lenses of my life, not his. My Jewish Dad and Italian Mom had some strict rules regarding prejudice. You see, Mom was the only Italian Protestant growing up in an Irish Catholic neighborhood. She knew many "bigots" as she would call them. Her hatred for these fools fueled an incredible acceptance for people of all races in my family. Everyone was equal in our eyes. This influence created two strong beliefs. One, that it was incredibly wrong to judge another based on skin color. Two, that since I did not have a problem with racism, then it could not be a big problem. Philip and I grew apart, as sometimes happens with friends. He, into computers, me, the life of the entrepreneur. Years later brought successful ventures in the business world, which in turn provided a platform to teach others. I lectured and answered questions involving obstacles to success. They were standard inquiries that experience provided answers to, with one exception. Men of color, who worked as hard, if not harder than their white contemporaries would come and ask, "How can one compete and run as efficient and successful as a white man in a world that afforded less credibility to the man of color?" I advised these men the standard business rule of engagement. "Keep a stiff upper lip and plow forward." I found one man though, who would not accept this answer. Only this was a man of accomplishment, a man who held a high position in the NY Stock Exchange. A man of dignity. A talented man. A man of color. His name was Carlos. His soft-spoken tone and look reminded me a lot of Philip. Our conversations at first revolved around business. As our friendship grew, talks then evolved to issues of racism that echoed Philip's frustration, only now 20 years later. My clueless answers not only fueled his frustration, but for the first time brought to my mind the injustice of racism. As my conversion to Christianity brought less of self and more of others, I knew for the first time how insensitive I had become, but still did not want to understand. Ignorance justified. Many other issues men were dealing with surfaced as God used our unanswered questions to birth God4me Men's Ministries, a discipleship ministry for men. The tough "throw in the towel" questions still had few answers, but at least we knew the one who had them. Jesus! v 1996 brought a new partnership with Promise Keepers as the Racial Reconciliation theme burned brightly in stadiums across America. Shea Stadium provided Bill McCartney, my mentor and founder of PK, the platform to express our desire to see unity for the Church in NY. As one incredible day wound down, closing speaker Dr. A. Bernard spoke on "Drinking from Our Cup". I thought the title different, but listened with an anticipation accompanied by that strange sense Christians get when they are about to hear from God. Dr. Bernard spoke openly. He said, "Until the white man drinks from the man of color's cup (the humiliation of prejudice), he can not understand our plight." Ringing in my ears was the painful heart both Philip and Carlos shared with me for years. My reaction at first was one of disillusionment, as he provided no solution. It was then that the Spirit of God knocked the scales from my eyes as He replaced my stony heart with a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26) I began weeping as I saw a small portion of Philip's pain as my fault. My ignorance led to an insensitive spirit. As teary eyes started clearing, I felt a big hand come on my back and hug me. It was Carlos. I felt so empty and broken as I looked at him and said, "I'm sorry for my selfish ignorance". I repented before God to my brother. God4me Men's Network is a National alliance of Churches and Men's groups systematically training and assisting men in their pursuit of significance and purpose. "Discipleship Boot camps" are forums to provide encouragement, instruction and fellowship for the transformed man. Anointed speakers help men replace the lies of the world with Biblical truth. Upbeat and practical topics such as "Brainwashed", "A Man's Wild Heart", "The Purpose-Driven Man", and "As a Man Thinketh" are presented in a user friendly environment where men are free to "hear and respond". Movie clips and skits are used expressing the practicality of the topics. Food is served for time in fellowship, and short interactive workshops create a dynamic effective arena for change in men. Please visit Invasion for up to date information on events. Additional Information: God4Me Articles Please Visit: God4Me.com |
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