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Gifts, Fools, and Judging - Part I
The celebration of 18 years of marriage provided a wonderful backdrop to a well deserved dinner with my bride Debbie. We talked of times when we loved, shared and fought our way through this adventure called marriage.
One of the funnier yet painful times spoken of was when starting the resource ministry (God4me.com), a pallet of books was delivered to our home. We were the only ones around when we then heard a loud crash. The pallet fell over resulting in crushed books and a big mess. We knew the more time passed, the more they would be permanently damaged.
With hard work certainly not foreign to either of us, we started the chore of rescuing each book from sure death. After 5 minutes of intense work and with another few thousand books to go, I stood up and stopped working so that I could think. I started to speak to Deb about who I should call to help and how the way we were working was wrong and instructed her on how we should do it instead of our backward plan of action.
Debbie continued to work as she looked up and spoke words of correction licensed only to spouses as she more or less called me lazy while I'll let her do most of the work. Taking it like a mature man of God, I did the honorable thing and echoed back my feelings, telling her that the hard work she was doing was dumb and foolish. Please note my spirit man has no recall of this rebuttal to my wife but I am submitting to a known higher power - a wife's memory. She probably won't read this column anyway.
She accused me of judging her because I was thinking without working and I accused her of working without thinking. We hugged and made up as hindsight provided wisdom that the bad feelings that ensued were certainly not worth our misguided words.
It was around that same time that I got a call from a leader who attended one of God4me Men's Network Discipleship Boot Camps (workshops that instruct and help men get to the next level in Christ-likeness and manhood). He was straight forward and transparent as he confessed his struggle with being judgmental and having a critical spirit. After more time on the phone he revealed he was in fellowship with some other men who voiced similar concerns, which brought his next question. Would we be willing to address this sin of "judging others" at our next series of Discipleship Boot Camps? Thinking that it may have been of God, I politely told the brother I would pray, seek counsel and get back with him.
As I searched scripture on judging, I found much of what God had to say was very clear and directive, but with no leading to do a major workshop. My study then turned to Romans 12 and 1Corinthians 12 that had to do with gifts. The more I prayed, the more I found myself reading and hearing about what the Bible said about these gifts and the value of each person as a part of the whole body of Christ.
It appeared that when God spoke of different gifts for different people he preceded it with warnings of prideful behavior, and always followed up with His commands to love one another. The Bible teaches that ignoring our uniqueness and individual gifts would result in division and pride while depriving ourselves of love.
It was then that a light bulb went off. (You may call this God). Back at the fallen pallet of books, as my wife and I traded unpleasantries we were both looking through the glasses of our individual strengths (gifts). She came from a blue collar working family and worked her way up the corporate ladder of success through hard work. Her gifting was service and administration. I in turn was an entrepreneur who spent hours on visionary projects. One of my gifts was leadership as I did my best to influence others to replicate what vision I ran after.
I did not give it much thought as I judged her harshly with out considering her gifts and how she sees life through a very different set of lenses. Worse yet, I did not recognize the blessing of my gift that allowed me to see what she did not.
This revelation at once changed my life in thinking and dealing with people. The supreme arrogance I displayed, must have grieved the Holy Spirit for years. Here I was blessed with a gift that when used in the secular world brought earthy success and when applied to God's kingdom brought blessing upon others and my family. Instead of being thankful to the Father for this, I took that gift and used it to judge others as I made it an idol of pride. If folks did not think or act as I did, I donned my black robe and smacked down the gavel of pride and sentenced them in thought if not words. I judged them lazy for lack of motivation, apathetic for not thinking on their feet, weak for being inconsistent and ungodly if they sinned too much.
As with many of my sin management requests, The Lord answered like only He can. He brought light to the blessing instead of condemnation from sin. He brought me to what I should do instead of what I should not. He knew my recognizing His gift of Grace would melt away the log in my eye I carried as a consequence of judging others. .
Man of God, there is a two-fold blessing awaiting you and me. One is that when we realize that we all have unique gifts and abilities, the tyranny of wanting everyone to live and think like us looses its grip. Two, the man who lives this, allows Jesus to rule his opinions and will as he now replaces judgment with a grateful grace. Christ-likeness and manhood are now synonymous as you are free to love your neighbor as you love yourself.
Join me next month as we talk further on Gifts, Fools and Judging Part II.
God4me Men's Network is a National alliance of Churches and Men's groups systematically training and assisting men in their pursuit of significance and purpose. "Discipleship Boot camps" are forums to provide encouragement, instruction and fellowship for the transformed man. Anointed speakers help men replace the lies of the world with Biblical truth. Upbeat and practical topics such as "Brainwashed", "A Man's Wild Heart", "The Purpose-Driven Man", and "As a Man Thinketh" are presented in a user friendly environment where men are free to "hear and respond". Movie clips and skits are used expressing the practicality of the topics. Food is served for time in fellowship, and short interactive workshops create a dynamic effective arena for change in men. Please visit Invasion for up to date information on events.
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