My arm started to hurt sometime last year. At first we had trouble with simple things like writing and folding clothes. A short time later my thumb started to shake as a trip to the doctor seemed eminent.

Sitting in the Doctor’s office is not on my list of favorite pastimes. Whenever a verdict is coming on your health the mind can produce thoughts that talk like there is no God. The Doctor came in the room and sat down next to us. Not good. He smiled like my Pastor does when I tell him how I screwed up. Not good. His first words were, “I am very sorry, but”!

He proceeded to tell us that He can make us more comfortable, but there is no cure right now for Parkinson’s. The doctor told me that this part of my body will get progressively worse in time. He told us it will slow down and not keep up with rest of the body. It may not be able to do what it so wonderfully has done for my three children the past sixteen years.

It put up with my self absorbed ways but never stopped smiling. It never judged. It never for one second thought “I could find a better looking body than this one I am attached to”. My arm did nothing but serve my children and me for years. What was I now going to do? We knew we would have to lean on the Lord as this attack would dramatically alter our lives.

The right arm is the strongest part of my body and is relied on most heavily. The Bible speaks of the right hand and side as place of honor. Jesus thought it so important that he included it in his teachings while saying it was so excellent it was not His to grant to the Apostle John’s pushy mother, but His Father’s.

You see my right arm was the focus of the diagnosis. My right arm is my wife Debbie.

She is part of my body that God calls one flesh. We are two separately distinct people but one flesh, that God said, let no man separate. She is who God chose for me to serve, honor and cherish all the days of our lives especially in sickness as well as health.

Debbie has been at my right side to work my purpose and mission on earth as Husband, Father and submitted soldier for Christ. I place high esteem on her. How can a thinking man not? 

Why does God put such value on the man’s subordination to this relationship?

Much talk surrounds feminine submission in Christian households today. The role of submission is a somewhat progressive as well as regressive sequence. When a man is not in submission to God as well as the oneness of his relationship with his wife, (not his wife alone but their oneness) he has broken this link. In other words your walk with God and run with spouse needs to be the pillars upon which all else is built and thought about. 

My “old man” desires to divide me from my spouse as self is the forefront of flesh. This makes unity difficult. She is the person who loves me most but also reflects and reveals the things I hate about myself. If I am not able to love my spouse, how am I able to love God and my neighbor? For the body has to work with the arm to be whole and productive. 

Even if my right arm treats me unfairly 1Peter again advises me three things

 1- It’s my job to return evil with good, my vocation he called it

 2- I am to cloth myself with the same submissive attitude Jesus had at crunch time. (Trusting God)

 3- I am setting my self up to be blessed 

The Apostle Peter tells guys that our prayers are hindered if we don't get this right… how big a deal is this, if it blocks the very things we ask of God. Blessing is the continuous carrot God uses to get us to honor our wives. (1Peter)

Why does He command his blessing upon unity above all man’s cleverness?

The answer lies in the paradox of marital unity. A man leads while submitting. His marriage lives by him dying to self and subordinating his personal desires to the unity of the home team. In the times he wants to run away and leave he stays steady and trusts God for change. God honors this in a man’s life. 

Back in January, I asked the Lord what is it he would like me to change for 2006. I waited for his instruction with pen in hand. I assumed He would tell me what His will for God4me Men’s Network would be now after such a successful past three months helping disciple men for Christ.  

Before the last word left my mouth, His answer was “Love your wife, in that union you will find me greater.”

 God did not give me instruction on the grand plans I required to change the world for Him. He gave me what I needed. He knew if I could not love my wife properly, how could I teach and lead other guys to do the same. He knew if I could not submit to a tangible person on earth how could I submit to a sometimes intangible God. He reminded me that His provisions follow surrender, obedience and faith.

 Man of God, this Mother’s Day join me in honoring our completers:

• Know God’s order to love her (In and out of season)
• Know even prayers are hindered if you do not
• Pray and watch God work (put the results on Him)
• Ask the Holy Spirit to enable you.
• Obey: Step out and change in thought and deed (faith here)
• Stay steady even if it appears there is no change (even a year)
• You will then see the miracle of love through God’s grace reap fruit (watch how she looks at you)

How man treats and speaks to his wife and kids is how he would run the world if it was his to run.

Happy Mother’s Day To a Captivating Wife, Debbie, as well as all you Proverbs 31 Gals.

Blessing and Honor

Scott

Scott Caesar, Head Coach of God4me Men’s Network, speaks to thousands of men each year at business conferences, churches and his “Discipleship Boot Camp” Workshops, which equip men to be more effective leaders in their homes, churches and communities. Scott’s passionate calling is to assist men in their spiritual growth by replacing the lies of the world with the truth of Scripture. (Romans 12:2). He stands in the gap with the Northeast Church as an advocate for Christian Men.  Partnering with Promise Keepers and the local church, God4me launched “The Greater New York” Invasion: A Men’s Discipleship strategy, a Church based system to build men for Christ. For alliance with The New York Invasion call 631-753-1244 or email mantoman@God4me.com.